A River of Life

Middle Fork of the Salmon River, Idaho.

Light in August

Today

I feel tired today. Went back to work yesterday, left at 7:30 and didn't arrive home until 10:00 pm. That's how my first days back to work are usually like. I'm grateful that Gladys was there, seeing her smile reminded me to keep hanging in there. She came to me a few minutes past six and asked me about the phone call. Unfortunately, we were at a dinner hosted by the head of school. And as much as I wanted to hear all of you I had already decided to be present in what I was doing.

Remember that..being present.

As soon as the dinner was over, I quickly checked my emails to feel all of your presence. Thanks for your emails, all of them.

Today, I feel like just laying in our hammocks.

Committing to Change

Our desire to change our self and our life arises from our dissatisfaction with what is, regardless of how successful and fulfilled our life appears to be. Hope that change is possible, along with recognition of the specifics of what's wrong with our life, moves us to commit to change. Commitment energizes the change process and enables it to flow.

from Journey into Love

Dealing with negative people in your life...

Spoke to Jane today for my conference call. Mainly started spewing everything out about my sister. I mainly wanted to know the difference between actual OK feelings and feelings associated with patterns. I've realized that my relationship with my sister is very difficult. As my daughter pointed out, she is very very negative. She has a lot of anger. Its difficult to have a conversation with her without her feeling defensive. I asked Jane the best way to handle this, she suggested a transference conversation. She suggested that I don't actually have it but to follow the conversation to myself and identify patterns. Do a bit of pre-cycling before I see her. Bashing the patterns will help me keep my own circle of happiness around her and not let her negativity over-rule me. I share this with you in the event that perhaps you may have someone negative in your life. However, I do feel that at some point I will have to point out this anger that she holds on to. She actually told me that she does not like the "new me" and that I resemble Dr. Spok in Star Trek. hmm..it made me laugh. However, after a while her continued negativity and defensiveness was a constant battle and I was exhausted everytime I left her side.

I did ask Jane what she did around negative people. she told me that she does not hang around negative people, or she tries not to. She did mention that if she does have to be around a negative person she asks "what is that you would like for me to do for you?" That's pretty to the point, don't you think? If the person tells you what they want you to do, then you do it and you are on your way. I think I'll try it with my sister.

The Peace of Racebrook

Hi all. Barbara, this is so wonderful. Thanks for setting it up.

Just looking at the photo of the lodge brought back so many memories. I can picture and feel the serenity, the exploration, and yes even the tears.

What important work.

Love to you all.

From the book "Journey into Love"

The quality of our relationship change

When we see our mother and father, we see the emotional child inside of them, and we know that thier child didnt receive the love it yearned for. We can give love to them without asking for anything in return. We accept them just the way they are and see thier spirt within.

We can recognize that our siblings were victims of negative love just like we were, and give them compassion and love.

We feel deeper respect and love for our spouse or lover, more curiosity about who they really are and we experience more understanding and acceptance, even if we are uncertain of our relationship with them. We know what intimacy is and we can integrate sexuality and love.

We care for our children in a different way, seeing them as seperate from us. We can be more authentic with them and present to them. We recognize thier talents and give them validation and direction. We see the patterns that they learned from us have compassion for them. We don't blame them or our self. We know we all did the best we could.

We are a better friend, able to give and receive in the relationship and share with each other. We work with greater satisfaction and balance and use our money well. We know that this body is the only one we have for this lifetime and learn to treasure it. We transform our relationship to sickness and even find healing.