Dealing with negative people in your life...

Spoke to Jane today for my conference call. Mainly started spewing everything out about my sister. I mainly wanted to know the difference between actual OK feelings and feelings associated with patterns. I've realized that my relationship with my sister is very difficult. As my daughter pointed out, she is very very negative. She has a lot of anger. Its difficult to have a conversation with her without her feeling defensive. I asked Jane the best way to handle this, she suggested a transference conversation. She suggested that I don't actually have it but to follow the conversation to myself and identify patterns. Do a bit of pre-cycling before I see her. Bashing the patterns will help me keep my own circle of happiness around her and not let her negativity over-rule me. I share this with you in the event that perhaps you may have someone negative in your life. However, I do feel that at some point I will have to point out this anger that she holds on to. She actually told me that she does not like the "new me" and that I resemble Dr. Spok in Star Trek. hmm..it made me laugh. However, after a while her continued negativity and defensiveness was a constant battle and I was exhausted everytime I left her side.

I did ask Jane what she did around negative people. she told me that she does not hang around negative people, or she tries not to. She did mention that if she does have to be around a negative person she asks "what is that you would like for me to do for you?" That's pretty to the point, don't you think? If the person tells you what they want you to do, then you do it and you are on your way. I think I'll try it with my sister.